This
post isn't about roasting marshmallows, Skippy.
If
you find some marshmallows during or after the Z.A., roasting the
stale suckers will make them taste better, though. I think we all
know how to to this one: poke stick into marshmallow, stick in fire,
wait until black, eat, and then drink enough water to cool the tongue
burn. Am I right?
One
thing I hate about Z.A. movies is that everyone runs out of food.
They're
eating crap scrounged from stores - seriously, if we're pissed off as
a general rule about the crap in our food now, what's going to happen
after the Z.A.? We can't go bitching to any government about GM food
- because we won't be able to tell the crap apart. Pollen from GM
crops has been a problem discussed by scientists since 1999...when
the zombies eat all of the scientists the problem isn't going to go
away.
Hopefully
the GM strains will die out, but if not, I think that it will be more
important to know the difference between grapes and nightshade then a
GM tomato and an heirloom.
The
point is, food is food.
We
all need to know how to identify what's good to eat and what isn't. I
love the Wildman Steve Brill and his website, while not the
prettiest, has a vast amount of information anyone can use. He has
several books that I strongly urge anyone that wants to eat well
after the Z.A. to buy. This link takes you to his Plant ID Page
: http://www.wildmanstevebrill.com/Plants.Folder/Plants.html
Do
NOT eat anything that you are not 100% sure of.
I
can't say this enough. Do not go sticking shit in your mouth if you
don't know what it is. It might not kill you outright, but a massive
case of the trots will make you wish you'd listened. Trust me. I'm an
author.
After
checking out those pages, you have an idea of what you can and can't
eat. You're probably wondering, "Yeah, but how do I
cook it?" --over the fire you learned how to build last
lesson. Or beside it. Or even in it.
If
you have the room to carry it, a mess kit comes in really handy.
Every
person in your group should have one. You can buy a mess kit or build
your own. Military mess kits are the best for their durability and
compact size. Don't spend too much - anything you have can be lost
during the Z.A. and if you have any sense, you won't go fighting
through a horde to grab the expensive mess kit you (or some idiot)
left behind.
Want
to be really self reliant?
Make
your own mess kit from cans. A coffee can with a plastic lid can
carry your entire kit, boil water, cook stew, and more. When choosing
cans don't use any that have the white lining inside, this can burn
off or leech into your food. A plain metal clotheshanger can be bent
into a handle for your cans. Punch a hole near the top of each can so
you can hook the ends of the hanger in. With cans you can choose the
size of your kit. Cans are also readily available in most areas which
means that if you lose a kit, it's easy to replace on the fly.
Coil
a few wire hangers inside of your kit for flexibility while cooking.
The
hangers are good not only for cooking, but even without sharpening,
if a zombie shambles up while dinner is cooking, you can stab him in
the eye, pierce the brain, and kill the sucker. Use them to secure
knives to broomsticks or other long wooden sticks for makeshift
spears. Alternatively, hang several cans over the fire to cook more
than one thing at a time. Killing zombie bastards or makeshift
weapons- hangers rock.
Here
are a few things every mess kit should have:
Large
can/pot for boiling water
Several
smaller cans (nested)
Knife/fork/spoon
(a spork is perfect)
- Wire
hanger (or several)
That's
it. Everything you need for a basic kit. To be honest, you
can get by with one small can that doubles to cook, eat, or drink
from. I'd prefer at least two cans in the stripped down version - one
typical vegetable can with a smaller tomato sauce or paste can for
drinking, along with half a wire hanger and a fork.